Exactly 8 years ago today I was getting ready for my wedding rehearsal.
I was running around doing last minute things around town.
I got my nails done, and had a pedicure, french tips of course. Toe nails too!
Ran to the mall, I remember!
My husband to be was working and I even had to go pick up both our rings! Romantic huh?
Oh and then I am pretty sure we were late to our own wedding rehearsal!
We were kids. So young. We had picked a pizza place for our rehearsal dinner. It was the place we met though! So, it had extreme sentimental value for us! However, not all of my wedding party wanted to go eat there afterwards and some didn't. And I remember that making me sad!
I was by myself almost the whole day though. I am pretty sure my maid of honor was working and my mom, probably too. I really can't remember!
I feel kind of sad looking back on that but nothing is ever perfect people.
If there is one thing that I have learned from eight years of marriage, it is that nothing is ever perfect.
Life is not perfect.
Marriage is not perfect.
Your husband is not perfect.
Do not go into this thinking that he is or that you are or that your life for the next 50 years will be.
It will have it's ups and downs.
The down's might last a long time, but then your up's might too!
The best way you can stay in the up's, even through the downs, is the with the Lord.
There are so many things we would possibly not have made it through if it was not for God and our relationship with him and the fact that we were going to church our entire marriage.
Yes, going to church does not make you a Christian my friend. Putting a bicycle in a garage does not make it a car. However, you will be in the right place to transform your life.
Church, despite all it's flaws, (no church is perfect either, surprise!) is a safehaven for the sinner. Just like a hospital is a place for the hurting.
It is my number one, above all advice for married couples or couples wanting to get married.
Go to church. Read your Bible. Marry someone who believes the same you do. Pray. If not together, you pray. And pray a lot.
The second thing is to not go into a marriage thinking that you are going to change someone. If anyone is going to get changed it is going to be by God and not your nagging or fussing. It is so hard not to try to correct our spouses but we need less talk and confrontation and more whispered prayers to the Lord. Which is hard! Not ever will I say it is easy and that I am a perfect wife and do it every time. But, I sure notice a difference when I do!
If you ask couples that have been married 30, 40 50 years, if their marriage was perfect, what do you think their answer will be?
Release your chokehold. Let go of what you have been holding on to. Whether it be a perfect image of your perfect spouse in your perfect house with your perfect marriage with all the perfect things surrounding you...or whatever it may be. Let it go and literally let God into your life, and your marriage and your problems.
I always wanted to solve my problems the way the world did.
I wanted to yell and scream and throw things (famous for wiping my hand over a table and everything ends up on the floor-oh yeah, so not perfect!) even destroying a beloved spice collection, crying, leaving.
But friends, that is not God's way. Now, when I am broken and crying, I pray to him. I trust that he will take care of my imperfect problems. And He will take care of yours too.
I love you guys and I hope that this helps you even a little bit!
Tomorrow we celebrate 8 years of imperfect marriage thanks to a perfect God!